a new day dawning

"funny how things never turn out the way we plan,
the only thing we knew for sure about henry porter
is that is name wasn't henry porter."

brownsville girl, dylan & shepherd

sharp turn in the road. but man, i wouldn't have considered it without being forced. this morning, looking out over the backyard of this place i've lived for over a year, i'm glad to be leaving. my god. what a lot of work to do. and there's something very strange about this place and it's always been the case - it's literally two steps forward and one back. someone haunts it with a mean spirit and the owner allows him to stay. they continue to work in the same sad sync of all their years being married; she pushes and he pulls. 

a lot got done. it isn't nearly the disaster area it was when i arrived. but she spent every single cent of her money until there was nothing left to even pay her bills. so she had to get bailed out by her daughters and they've decided to sell it. for the best, certainly. but i was surprised to hear about the plans weeks after they'd been made; she lacked the courage to tell me. how really silly is that.

it wasn't the realization of suddenly being without a place to live, it was the shock of suddenly having dozens of hours a month with nothing to do that forced me to take the sharp turn. what do i do now? cat says that when i told him on the phone he thought sweet! guess he has more vision than i do.

last week when i first found out i went through all my things. i didn't have much anymore but it was still a lot - about ten bags of stuff to the goodwill and a huge amount of paper to the recycling. but now i can fit my stuff into the trunk of my car except for five totes and my guitars. and the five totes are easy: seasonal clothes, photographs, sewing, writing, writing, writing...

found a man on craigslist with a flatbed trailer for trade; he wants guitar lessons for his grandson. went and looked at the trailer and it seems as though it will work to build a little house on. cat and i will do that and i will park it in his driveway until it sells. we could be onto something mighty fine with this.

and the dozens of hours... well, i went to the library yesterday and started researching my summer reading. i'll choose the authors and read the books again and study them and write a curriculum for learning. i can teach. i've wanted to do this for a really long time. and now i have the time.

and i'll write! now that i'm here, where i wanted for so long to be, it's time to do it. funny, strange road i took to get here but nevertheless, i've arrived.

went back to the doctor yesterday and my blood pressure is down from raging to normal. taking the meds at least for now. will reconsider at the end of summer. see how everything goes.

see you next time,
love,
ruthie